I've come to realize that we are deathly afraid of silence. In all aspects of life and relationships. Particularly relationships.
Over the past week, I have been experimenting with silence ever since I took a time out from life. I stayed home, read a book, did some puzzles but I stayed off social media and left the TV off. I was in silence for just a few hours but it felt glorious.
As a person living with anxiety, I didn't realize how sensitive I was to sound. Every sound of life brings its own set of triggers for me. When I gave myself a mini silent retreat, I felt immediately better, calmer, relaxed and peaceful.
Of course as much as I wanted to hide in my semi-silent house (there's so much I can do before the kids come home), I had to get back to life but I decided to bring the stillness with me as much as I could.
I spoke less in relationships and that was where I discovered our grappling fear with silence. In each of my relationships, people started to compensate for my silence by talking more, revealing more and communicating more. It was fascinating. When I allowed dead air into conversations, I sat happily with the pause but it seemed it made people more anxious.
This is what i think is the major upset in relationships when a partner pulls away. It's not so much that they took some time to themselves, it seems that we may be afraid to be in the silence with ourselves.
What exactly are we running from anyways?
My recommendation for you and for the health of your relationships is to take a silence retreat at your home every now and then. Start small with maybe an hour of silence and then build into a full day of no noise or sound.
It will heal you.
Why? because in the silence of others, you can hear yourself more clearly.
Once you do, you will feel more peaceful with everything that is going on.
Check it out and let me know how it goes.
In the meantime, I am silently going back to life.
It's not that enlightenment isn't for everyone.
The Law of Attraction works but yet people tell me frequently that it doesn't. The thing is, you have to be ready to receive it.
Have you ever had a dream where you were somewhere and you were unprepared? Maybe a dream of being in class and naked? Or being at work and unprepared for a meeting? Do you remember the feeling of dread and shame you felt? Why? Because you knew (even in dream state) that you were not supposed to be there. Y ou needed to be clothed or prepared before you got there.
It's the same thing with the Law of Attraction. The enlightenment we seek to have happy and peaceful lives comes with real power and if you are not ready to receive it, you can actually turn away your own manifestations.
How can we not be ready to receive that power? If we have fear, anxiety, doubt, dread or other lower emotions, we will not be able to handle the power. Its physics. The "thing" we are calling in and manifesting is of a higher power and if we are in a lower energy, we can manipulate the energy to bring us what we want but it wouldn't be enjoyable because we will not be at the level we need to be to receive it.
I witnessed it myself with a particular friend. I taught her everything I knew about this power in a sincere effort to help her out of her self sabotaging ways but it didn't work. Well it did for a little and she was soaring high! She manifested new love that looked stable and a new job that looked promising and a move that she dreamed of that looked full of potential.
She thought she created her fantasy world and we were rejoicing but as quickly as she manifested it, was as quickly as her dream turned to a nightmare.
The new love turned out to be insecure, possessive and highly jealous. Her new job started to change on what they offered her to a lesser offer than what she desired. Her own family member wished her dead for relocating.
I watched her hide from the harsh realities of her new world that she was denying but everyone around her could see. She thought she could pretend to be happy and it would all pick back up but instead things got worse and unfortunately her "blindness" to her situation has her still in it and I had to walk away. I didn't want to see how badly this would end so I left.
What happened to her scared me. It scared me because I started wondering if I really had the power or an image of it like she did. So I pondered this thought and went into my own meditation asking for clarity on this issue. Was I faking it too? At that moment I was happy and peaceful enjoying my life but was I lying to myself as well?
Thankfully, I received the clarity (and results) within a few hours to remind me that I DO indeed work with this limitless power and it wasn't based off of favoritism, just actions.
Actions that I share with my clients in a one on one coaching program. Actions that I was ready to take and commit to so I could have this wonderful and happy life.
It was here that I understood the distinction of why LOA works for some people and for some it doesn't. It is manifestation vs. manipulation.
See my friend was greedy and pretentious (traits I knew in her but accepted anyways) and she wasn't really learning the LOA from me for the betterment of herself and her world, she was learning it to get things.
I see now that if a person has that intention, it will not work. The main driving force behind the LOA is a sincere desire to be a better person by being in better alignment to yourself. It is here in this place of complete alignment with your inner being that you can begin to use the power to unravel the mysteries of the universe ....and your heart.
So today I give thanks because it's always been about the alignment for me. I desire to be so in alignment with myself and the Universe that no matter what happens, I am still and always happy, peaceful and content. This is a dream life in my eyes.