The Choice that Makes or Breaks You

You are probably sick and tired of hearing me remind you that Your Thoughts Create Your Reality but this time, I have a little twist on things. Yes your thoughts do create your reality but did you know that your choices are part of the package for a successful life?

Let me explain by using ahem..myself as an example. Oh Stop it! You know you love Uma messy stories :).

Recently I was talking to a friend one evening and even though I usually enjoy our conversations, I couldn't settle in to it because I was having a disagreement with another friend. The conversation from that person was still on my mind when I answered the phone and still unsettled within me. I listened to my friend talk about their day but I could not get invested into the conversation because my mind kept replaying comments made and actions taken and not taken.

Because I really wanted peace and quiet to decipher the previous talk, I began getting irritated with my friend on the phone because they (who were obliviious to my afflictons) just kept talking and disrupting my analysis time.

STOP!

I literally heard myself think this though, "STOP!" and I stopped what I was thinking about and paid attention to my body. My body was in distress. I had hair standing up the back of my neck and my heart was pulsing rapidly. My palms were sweaty and I was feeling anxious. All of this over a conversation!

As my friend kept talking, I focused on my breathing and slowed it down as I unconsciously started breathing fast. I then turned my attention to my friend and tried to engage my energy with them. When they made a statement, I asked a question.

"Well I just ate lunch and about to head back to work."

"What did you eat?"

At first it was bothersome because all of me wanted to focus on the previous conversation with the friend who upset me but I was determined to get off of that and involve myself in something...lighter.

It worked! Even though the first few interactions were difficult for me, I eventually ease off my attention to the other matter and allowed my interest in this conversation to take over. Voila! It was like magic! By the end of our conversation, I felt happy and joyful again as I reconnected with this friend and we ended up having a great conversation that was satisfying.

When I hung up the phone I was filled with a deep appreciation of all the tools I have learned and share in my coaching program because I was able to refocus on something more positive and take my attention off something negative.

Most times when we have an adverse reaction to something, we don't notice it. You have to train yourself to take you out of the downward momentum spiral and get back to your energetic set point. This is a simple story yes but it is years in the making. I have had to work on my reactive nature, my trauma responses, my old stories to give myself the option to choose better and choose differently. Making the choice for better sounds easy but it is one of the hardest things you have to do when all you have known is pain.

This week I urge you to try observing your behavior, your thoughts and your actions within yourself or while interacting with others. It's not going to be automatic in the beginning but in time you will catch yourself when you feel "off" sometimes as soon as it starts.

Remind yourself that your choices pick the path you walk on. If you are feeling good within yourself, your choices are healthy. If you constantly feel the drain and strain of life, then your choices need some work. Here are somethings you can start to analyze right now to see if they are adding or detracting from your quality of life:

1) Are the people you surround yourself with full of love and peace? Or are they unhappy within their own lives or indulging in bad behaviors (gossip, overdrinking, overspending etc...)

2) Are you living a generally healthy lifestyle? (enough sleep, water, nutrient dense foods etc..)

3) Are you steadily working towards your goals or indulging in wasteful activities?

You don't have to wait for something to happen, you can start making choices right now such as:

1) Limiting or cutting off interactions with people on a downward spiral

2) Surrounding yourself with happy, motivated, ambitious people

3) Set your schedule for the week to include enough rest, hydration and nourishment

4) Start a daily meditation practice to set your energy before you even leave your room

Start analyzing your choices in life and see where you are promoting your best interests or investing in "going nowhere' vibes and you will start to clean up your energetic imprint. You got this! I believe in you and I believe you can have a happily ever after life where your choices make your future look big and bright.

Until next time, have a namaste!

xo Uma

About the Author:

Uma Alexandra Beepat is the CEO of the Lotus and the Light Metaphysical Center. Uma is a Soul Alignment Coach, Intuitive Consultant and Psychic Medium. Uma wrote the book The Awakened Life that is available on Amazon.

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Winning a Rat Race means You are still a Rat

I love the healing path as a healer and a healed person. Most times I am in the role of a healer providing physical comfort, emotional releases and mental clarity for others but this weekend I got to be in the very rare role of being the one needing healing. Thankfully my healer did not disappoint and the work was done.

I have been severely bullied online both by trolls (people who bully anyone) and past people from my life. On the lighter end, it has been the usual trolls about my physical appearance or choice in platform but as of recent, people from my past have actually threatened me with physical assault. Don't worry everyone I am fine and that person will not do anything. They are mentally unstable and reacting out of the pain of missing me (or so people who talk to them tell me) but have no actual desire to hurt me. Still, it hurts. And before any of you start calling me or sending the police around to do a welfare check, I will let you know this: I am a licensed carrier, I have ADT and courage to defend myself so I am not scurred.

I am however annoyed that I am allowing these people into my head space when i Just want to stay focused on my goals and where I am headed. Why is it so hard to tune people out and tune into my own divine connection to Source?

I have been silently pondering these thoughts when I happened across a stream ran by Zen Barbie. Zen and I started talking and four hours later, I found myself a crying mess on the floor and completely healed of that trauma. Zen healed me.

She said a lot of things but the main point that stood out to me was that I was allowing them to distract me because I was refusing the leave the rat race. She then posed this very poignant question to me, "When are YOU ready to stop being a rat?"

See people can't affect you if you have them tuned out. I know this because I have kids! How many times I was required to tune out their playful noise in order to concentrate on a TV program I was watching? Or to be able to give a client psychic reading in a auditorium full of people at an Expo? I have done the tuning out before and successfully.

I however had an agenda and that was to have the last say in the rat race. It would happen this way: said people would say hurtful things about me and then I would find out and say hurtful things about them. This cycle would continue it seems for eternity until now. Zen pointed out that what they thought of me did not matter. It was more important to understand what I thought about myself.

I am reminded of an analogy I frequently use about a ship. A ship cannot sink in the ocean unless the water gets in. The only way water gets in is if it has a hole in its hull. In the same way, negativity cannot get into my psyche unless I have a hole in my energetic field which allows the comments to filter in. It's time to fill that hole.

I spent the rest of the weekend healing myself through prayer, meditation, contemplation and yoga. I allowed myself to feel the pain of loss as I mentally prepared myself to walk away from these past people and open myself to new experiences and...new love. I allowed the cycle to close finally.

We are all faced with choices throughout our lifetime in whether to tolerate someone's abuse or to leave and shut the door for good. As hard as it is, when we finally do leave and end the disrespect, life opens up in amazing ways for our healing.

Your choices are important in life. You may think it is not a big deal to tolerate a negative person in your life or to still tune to the channel of destruction or mayhem but it is actually quite harmful. A body and mind that undergoes prolonged negative attacks deteriorate and it affects your ability to thrive.

In the time I was tolerating these painful past memories, my sleep was affected, I gained weight and I started feeling lethargic. I had no energy to do other things because I was so busy thinking or verbally fighting back. It was exhausting.

So with this brand new start to a new week, how is life looking with a committment to close doors and start a new cycle without the past popping up? Its simple, I just have to focus and refocus on what I want to do. That looks like:

1) Gently side stepping conversations where mutual friends try to fill me in on what's going on with Person A, B or C.

2) Avoiding places where I can "bump in" to those people.

3) Renewing my interest in the people who do love me and support me.

4) Planning new activities and events with loved ones to replace memories built with the old ones.

Let them talk about you and focus on what you have going on but be so busy enjoying your life without them that you wouldn't even notice. Now that's the way you beat the game- by refusing to be a rat in the rat race and finding a luxurious pool to swim in with fantastic mermaids. It just feels better.

Until next time, have a namaste!

xo Uma

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Growth Lesson #45-Short Term Pain for Long Term Gain

Last week I spent a glorious four days in Cali celebrating my 45th birthday with my partner and teenage boys. It was an unbelievably beautiful trip that I enjoyed and feel was fitting to ring in my 45th birthday.

A few days prior to going, I was in a deeply reflective mood about my life and I found myself just sitting in a cozy chair and pondering about my life.

The biggest question that kept coming up was, "What did you learn last year that can help you this year?" and my answer was swiftly pronounced as, "Choose short term pain for long term gain."

Now I am not an advocate for BDSM or telling you to inflict pain on yourself. Far from it. I am saying that in life, in my observances, I have noticed the exact opposite playing out and I am tired of seeing myself and my loved ones crash and burn because of it.

When we choose short term gain to avoid the short term pain, we inevitably choose long term pain. Let me explain.

I have a client who is in a constant on again off again relationship with her dude. He makes her sooooo happy until he breaks up with her then she sinks into unbearable pain and punishes herself by staying gloomy until he returns again. She has been going through this cycle repeatedly for the past few years and is sick of it. Currently she is in a break up mode with him again but yet hoping for reconciliation. I am working with her right now in my four week Soul Alignment Coaching Program to hopefully change the outcome of this unfortunate disaster. The most I can do is remind her that she could choose short term gain by being with him again but be prepared for the next breakup which is sure to come.

I can't fault her though because I have been in that same cycle myself for the past few years. Choosing to stay in unhealthy situations because the fear of the long term pain made me weak. What I didn't realize then but I do now is this simple fact- pain is never forever if you have the right mindset. You can have peace even in the middle of emotional turmoil because it depends on what you are looking at as opposed to what you are actually facing.

Our choices determine the amount of pain or pleasure we have in our lives. Our choices with a growth mindset allows us to feel some temporary pain in the desire for a future of long term gains.

So what does that look like in real life? I will share some personal examples here to demonstrate how you can choose this growth mindset to create short term pain for long term gain:

1) Choosing to workout daily despite the physical pain because you know in the long term it will pay off.

2) Enduring the discomfort of restarting my yoga routine because i know in time I will regain my flexibility again.

3) Choosing to walk away from lovers and friends with the first few red flags and feeling the sadness of their absence but focusing on the future where I will gain more than I lost.

4) Deciding to invest huge sums of money in my business knowing that the payoff will be worth it.

There are so many ways we can incorporate this mindset but we have to be SURE of the payoff.

For instance, I rather walk away from a partner that fits 50% of my needs knowing that I can definitely be with a better match who fits 70-80% of my needs. I am sure of it.

Once you define what is absolutely the result if you commit then jump in and allow yourself to feel the pain a little. If you keep focusing on your long term gain, eventually the sting of your pain wears off...sometimes a lot faster than you anticipated it to be.

Until next time, have a namaste!

xo Uma

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The End of Mercury Retrograde-The Return of Logic

Retrograde Season is nearly over….breathe!

Whew we are nearly at the finish line....I find myself saying these same lines at least three times a year.....when we are approaching the end of Mercury Retrograde season.

This year Mercury Retrograde began around December 29th and will end (finally) on January 18th. Take a big sigh of relief, we are nearly out of these turbulent waters.

For those not in the know, I will do a brief sum up for you here:

Mercury Retrograde occurs about three times a year and lasts roughly three weeks each time. During this time, the planet of Mercury is in retrograde energy so whatever Mercury rules, will also be in retrograde. Mercury is the planet of communication and transportation so most of the season we see a breakdown in communication with people in our lives and we can also see delayed travel as a result (I wasn't the least bit surprised that there were a bunch of cancelled flights across the US and many planes were grounded last week).

If you find yourself wanting to lash out on others or thinking negative thoughts....be mindful. This may not be YOU feeling this way. I like to think of the Betty White commercials when someone hasn't had a snickers bar (haaa).

I would love to say just eat a snickers and everything will be fine! But sadly it isn't that easy. The emotions that lurk below the surface need to come up from time to time to be seen and addressed. Whatever you feel these last few days pay attention to them. It is telling you what you need to work on.

As we come to a close to our retrograde period, I have some tips on how to navigate these turbulent waters safely. It is my way of offering you a snickers bar! Hopefully it is just as satisfying and fills you up.

1) Do not take Offense

When people are lashing out at you, it is a reflection of their inner state and has nothing to do with you. Learn to differentiate the difference between constructive criticism and personal attacks.

2) Create space for Communication

When someone attacks me verbally I choose not to respond. If the person is important to me, I tell them to take some time to cool off and we will revisit the topic in a few days. Create space and gather your thoughts. I am not interested in upsetting my mental health by the few who cannot control their emotions. If you and a loved one have a spat, take time before you talk. Think about the relationship and its importance to you before you make decisions.

3) Do not make major decisions!

Now is not the time. Retrograde season is best for introspection and creativity not for forward movements in the real world. I have some ideas of where I want to go for my next steps and who I want to go with but I am not making any definite decisions until after these retrogrades end. A return to logic is required before I move forward in my life.

4) Dream Away

This is the BEST time to journal, think and reflect on your journey. Write, write, write everything down. You will have the best dreams and visions now and if you pay keen attention, you can find out your next steps as this is the time they will be revealed.

Yes retrograde season can be tricky but it can also be helpful. Remember all of life depends on how you look at it. Choose to always see the positive and your life will be brighter every time.

Until next time, have a namaste!

xo Uma

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2023- Year 7: Time to Get Real

Welcome to 2023, a year of profound growth and insight to come.

According to numerology, this year is a year 7 in the nine year cycle so there is a lot of significance about this number. In my personal opinion, the number 7 is the most spiritual number in the bunch. I have met alot of LIfe Path 7 people and they are a different bunch I tell you what! Very introspective and spiritual seeking is their passion. I tried to imagine my life path 7 friends energy to understand 2023 as a year 7 and this is what I got: hang tight, it's about to get real!

2023 is going to be a year of deep reflections on our individual paths and figuring out what works for us....and what doesn't. 2023 invites us to connect to our spirituality and define what this life means for us on an individual basis outside of the group collective. THe group can be your family, your friendship circles, your job, your religion, your culture or anything else large and mainstream you subscribe to.

This is my predictions for the year, let's see how it goes!

1) LIving this life for Me not You

This year we can see a shift in our perception as we stop trying to please others and focus more on pleasing ourselves. The spiritual vibration of this number is causing us to look within and assess what makes us happy. For most people, it is about honoring our needs that will bring us the most joy. So I see some changes being made especially for those that are people pleasers. Maybe you have had enough of being a doormat for others and you are ready to ruffle a few feathers and step out on your path...if you do. please don't feel guilty. Honor what you are feeling because this year is guiding you to make the changes you are contemplating.

2) Connecting back to your Spirituality

I get it, life is busy and all the spiritual classes you took, you may have put that wisdom on the back burner for awhile but babyyyy.....this year you are dusting off the cobwebs off that manual and reopening the book! 2023 is a 7 year which brings a certain desire to seek...remember 87 is considered the number of the spiritual seekers. And seek you shall. If you have already been feeling the stirrings to go back to school or enroll in some self development courses, you are in the right energy for this year.

I get it now. Last year I wanted to go back to school for a degree and I could not manage it. It makes sense now because last year was a year 6 and as expected, my focus was on my kids and my partner. A year 6 is about nurturing the relationships in our lives that mean something to us and that is exactly what I did. Now I realize that this year might be a better year to study because of point 3 I am about to make:

3) Hermit Mode Activated

People with a life path 7 are notorious for loving their solitude and time in nature away from the peoply people. What do you think 2023 is going to be about? I predict this year many of us will be feeling the need to hunker down and get quiet. The need to socialize will be at a minimum and if we do socialize, there will be a preference for small,, intimate gatherings over large parties and crowds.

I chuckle now because when making plans for New Years Eve last year, my partner was looking at all the big events hosted in New York City and I was praying he chose something within Brooklyn close to our airbnb we rented. The desire was just not in me to be around a ton of people as we entered into this year and i am glad we rung it in quietly at a local lounge with a few people. The signs were already there for the energy of this year!

Now there is a downside to a 7 year and that can be getting stuck in negative thinking patterns. Remember this is a reflective year meant to have you reflect and analyze your life for the better but if you haven't been doing your self work, you can ruminate on things a little too much and spiral down. Don't do that!

All in all I feel that for most of us, this will be a positive year. If we have been doing the work, making those hard choices that force us to choose ourselves over others then we have the ability and possibility of awakening to our greatest endeavors just yet. We have the potential here this year to just shine and be seen as the amazing light that we are.

I don't know about you, but I am definitely ready for bigger and better. See you at the top.

Until next time, have a namaste!

xo Uma

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New Year New Habits

Happy New Year!

Every year we have the chance to create ourselves in the image we view ourselves as, that's my favorite part of the first week of January.

The planning and obsessing (hi I'm a Capricorn lol) over new year goals (I prefer using the term goals over resolutions because it makes it easier in my mind to accomplish), making a vision board and setting intentions. It is wildly exciting!

Of course somewhere around March, all the best intentions fall off and we are left feeling unworthy and ashamed of our previous glorious plans.

But not necessarily! Take it from me, a hard working and ambitious Capricorn! You can make goals and get them through a year!

I have written hundreds of new year goals and completed 70-90% of them each year. I know, I can hear you....but you didn't get them all Uma! and guess what? I am ok with that.

Setting goals is not about getting a perfect score every year, it's about upleveling yourself to become better and do better.

This year I set 35 goals and if I complete even 10 of them I am happy. Why? Because even getting those 10 self development goals done still makes me a better person than I was before I started so I am happy to rejoice them at the end of the year.

Here are my 3 top tips for increasing your chances of setting goals and actually achieving them. Hey any business or development tools coming from a Capricorn is advice worth listening to so take a peek!

1) Do a focus wheel and see where you are lacking in life- make those areas your goals for this year. In a focus wheel, you can put different topics such as Love Life, Career, Fun/Recreation, Physical Health etc.... Once you establish how many topics you need to have a balanced life, then grade yourself HONESTLY on a scale of 1-10. How well are you doing?

You may have an outlook like this:

1) Love lIfe- 9/10

2) Career- 6/10

3) Fun/Recreation-3/10

4) Physical Health-2/10

Based on this focus wheel, goals it should be made to address fun/recreation and physical health. Usually anything that falls below 5 for me is something to work on!

2) Write down your goals and then divide them into action steps to do every quarter then every month. For example, if you wanted to start reading more, you could set a goal to read 6 books in 2023. I would break it down like this:

1) January-April- read 1 book (may take me longer to get into the habit of reading again)

2) May-July- read 1 book (I could get into the habit now)

3) August-September-read 1 book (getting faster now)

4) October-December-read 3 books (a book a month let’s goo!)

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time! Your goals will feel less gigantic when you break it down in easy steps to accomplish.

3) Be easy and flexible with your goals

You might start gallantly and hope to read 20 books this year. BY July you realized you only read 3. Ok so change your resolution to 6 books! It doesn't matter! You are not failing. Reading 6 books still puts you ahead of yourself last year when you read 0 books.

Making goals should be a fun and easy process. It should delight you and inspire you to want to be better. As we grow older, it is imperative we stay the student and continue to learn and grow. This is how we evolve and when we are evolving? Nothing can stop us.

Have a happy and wonderful new year in 2023. My best wishes for you to achieve your wildest dreams!

Until next time, have a namaste!

xo Uma

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Pivoting is required in times of Change

This weekend I was reminded that life is not going to be exactly the way you imagine it to be. This is life, so what do you do when you are a controlling, Type A personality type like me? You learn to pivot.

Pivoting is changing course or direction after coming across an unplanned event. It is truly making the best of the worst in situations and doing it well. There is no time frame to a pivot but I found in my personal and professional life, it is best to pivot quickly with deliberation and no hesitation.

I can pivot physically and mentally but I find the mental pivot is more important because if you can change your thoughts quickly then your actions become effortless in the new direction.

Let's give an example: in 2019 I had to make the decision to renew my massage school license for another year or let it go. I had the school opened in 2017 and while it was fun, it proved very challenging. I had to execute a lot of free open houses and do free events to get prospective students to look at and consider my school for their massage therapy training. Then once I got the students' interest, we had to work out a monthly payment plan for financing the $10,000 tuition over the course of nine months. It was a nightmare! Students were frequently late with their payments thereby holding up payments made to the teachers and there were so many regulations to running the school that it was a hassle. As my second graduating class was approaching their graduation date in June, I had to make the decision whether to keep the school opened or cancel it. In that moment I did a pivot and closed the school down. Thankfully my decision worked out well because as we all know, in 2020 the pandemic hit and I couldn't imagine trying to run a massage school during that time. Whew! Crisis avoided!

I have had to pivot so many times in life because my adventurous spirit rarely sits still for me to enjoy the peace and calm of boredom. I have made an art of pivoting and I have some tips for those of you who are ready to make changes in your life.

When is the ideal time to pivot? I usually pivot when I am unhappy with the path I am on and want to make things better for myself. Sometimes I pivot for other people if they are special to me but most times the pivot comes for self interest and renewal. I have usually pivoted in times of work or love life issues and I find that if I followed these three steps below, my situations generally enhance for the better. Let's go now and learn Uma's Art of Pivoting:

1) Identify and Label

The first step to pivoting is to understand what the actual matter is and not what I am reacting to. For instance a few years ago I hired a manager for my center and it did not work out well. I knew I had to let her go but I was experiencing all sorts of emotions that was disruptive to my life. I took a moment from the drama and sat with myself for a day to figure out what all these emotions were about. I realized that the main reason I did not want to let her go was because I did not want to take on her workload. My preconceived notion of exhaustion was preventing me from making the cut and letting her go. I had to face the music and realize it was time to let her go and I would have to hire someone new to handle her work. If I didn't take the time to identify what exactly was stressing me, I would probably have kept her on despite the difficulty. I am glad I took a day before making my decision because I was able to correctly identify the source of my angst.

2) What feels light to you?

When I realize it's time to move in a new direction, I go off of feeling. What feels light to do? Using the above example, what felt light to me was to divide up my ex-manager's duties among the remaining staff while I looked for another full time manager. My staff was happy to help and I was happy for the help in the interim process. When something feels light to do, it means it agrees with your soul. When it feels heavy to do then more than likely you are doing it out of obligation and not because you want to do it. Know the difference! This little exercise has saved me a great deal of pain and stress. Just doing what feels light can be a lifetime mantra to happiness, trust me on that!

3) As the new path unfolds, embrace it!

During times of pivoting, you will be presented with new information for new decisions to be made. Do it. Using the above example, after I let my manager go and had the staff take on extra duties, I realized that I didn't need a manager and I could handle all the tasks and save money while being focused about the work. Look at that! A little scheduling and focus saved me thousands and less worry about someone else! Mission accomplished.

In life, taking a pivot doesn't equate to failure or defeat. Pivoting shows adaptability and a desire to keep living and engaging no matter what. When you change course as obstacles present themselves, you show yourself (and the world) that you are more committed to your happiness than to being committed to an outside goal. The art of pivoting is really the art of honoring yourself and that is a joy to live for. Pivot away my friends and enjoy the freedom of choices!

Until next time, have a namaste!

xo Uma

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Challenge the Status Quo

Happy Holidays!

As we start this holiday season I am happy to announce that I am in a new relationship with a new boo....and I have a lot to feel merry about. He is a God Send.

Yes I was in a previous relationship that did not work out a few months ago and now I am in a new relationship and steadily moving forward happily. Yes I still have love for my ex and I had a really good time dating him. I wish him the best in life always.

For some people this is hard to digest and I understand. I get questions like:

"Don't you miss the other person?"

"I guess the last person wasn't your soulmate even though you called them that?"

"How could you move on so quickly?"

"You need more time to heal before investing in a new relationship"

All valid points but yet inapplicable to me.

I don't miss the other person because we had our time together. It was full of fun and laughter but also hard times and sadness. The balance between good and bad evened out and when we ended our relationship, I took the time to mourn it until it became neutral within me. No I don't miss him because I had my fill of him when I was with him. I am able to honor him by quietly releasing and being open to new love.

My ex was definitely a soulmate of mine. I believe we have multiple soulmates and they come in at the vibrational level they can come in at. When it is time to grow, they either grow with us or stay the same. In my lifetime of 44 years, I have met over 8 soulmates and each decided to stay where they were when I grew spiritually hence the breakups. No hard feelings just fond memories of love shared.

I have been in over 30 relationships! Dating is fun and an experience for me. I can move on quickly because I see the bigger picture of my life and I don't get stuck on sentiments. When it's time to go, it's time to go. Yes I still mourn and grieve the loss of something special but time and experience has taught me that this too shall pass and something better always comes along.

Who decides how much time is needed to heal a heart already ripped to shreds from previous relationships? My heart became a warrior and is capable of taking hits and being resilient. When my heart tells me it's time to move on then it is time to move on.

All of these questions come from well meaning people but they signify a glaring fact: we do not know how to upset the status quo or sometimes we don't even know we are subscribed to it.

The way we view love and dating in this matrix is archaic. The old programming of monogamy and "till death do us part" is slowly diminishing as more and more people are waking up to the reality that is really true. The reality is: You get to decide what works and what doesn't.

Not your pastor, not your family and not your government. YOU get to decide what you like and what you don't like.

When I enter into a relationship, I enter with the best intentions of seeing this through to the end. Now when the end comes depends on us, the couple. To me, the whole point of dating is not to settle down and get married but to explore another person and find out if what we have is really a good fit.

My last relationship we were amazing as friends, enjoyable as a long distance couple and a disaster living together. We were just different people with different needs. After a few months of living together, the decision was made to end it and I had to accept the fact that this person was not for me.

The status quo and familiar is that when couples take the next step, it has to be right and it has to keep going until finally we are buying burial plots next to each other. How quaint.

I live my life in a different way. Everyday I choose whether this thing is for me or not. Everyday I choose things that make me happy not sad, joyful not angry and passionate not boring. Hence why I have a long list of exes that I still have love for but not in love with. My cup runneth over.

I choose to talk about my dating life in this blog to highlight the bigger picture- stop serving the status quo that makes no one happy and live for yourself.

As we come to the end of this year and on the verge of starting a new year, I ask you to make a commitment to honor your happiness no matter what others think. You have lived long enough serving the needs of others, isn't it time you lived for yourself as your soul intended you to?

Until next time, have a namaste!

xo Uma

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One month to 2023....are you Ready?

I write this on Sunday December 4th 2022 and the air feels ominous. I am a great psychic because I have this uncanny ability to feel energy and recognize patterns. The way I feel now is the last darkness before the dawn. Something big is being revealed on a larger and personal level alike. Are you ready?

With less than a month to New Years and entering into 2023, I feel like this week will be one of revelations. We will get the clarity we seek on confusing issues or situations in our lives. Spirit is not about to let us enter the new year with doubt in our minds and fear in our hearts. We will be empowered and given clear instructions on which path to take.

I myself am having a struggle between letting go of the old and welcoming in the new. Why is change so hard? Why is change so feared? I heard one time that it is better to live with the monster you know than take a chance on the monster you don't know. But....what if there is no monster? What if these things are what we believe to keep us locked in the past and the comfort zone?

I don't know about you but I want to move forward always in life. I don't ever want to feel stuck or played or used or manipulated or hurt and accept it as the status quo. I want to be free, I want to be loved, I want to feel safe and I want to thrive.

The older I get, the more I realize life is only all about choices. Each choice we make takes us closer or farther away from freedom. It's that simple but yet we lie to ourselves. We say things like, "I can't change or they can't change", "I am too old to start over", "I can't live my dream life."

Again the monsters of old rearing its ugly head and making us feel trapped in an endless cycle of self abuse. We can do better.

We deserve to do better. We need to do better.

As I enter into 2023, I go with several new tools developed from the pain and suffering I endured. I go with a clean heart because even if things didn't turn out the way I wanted them to, I know I loved deeply and hard and that was true. I go with a clear conscience because I tried everything I could to do right by myself and others. I go with hope as new horizons dawn upon me and show me a better route, a more peaceful route, a loving route. I go with excitement as I learn to gently close the door on the past and walk fully and strongly to a brighter future.

You may be reading this and feel happy for me but I can I let you in on a little secret? This can be your happiness too if you make the right choices. Your choices determine your path.

Here are some things you can do this month to prepare you for the new year. Making better choices does not have to be hard or difficult but it does require effort.

1) Let the past stay in the past

There's a saying when the past comes a knocking, don't answer the door! The past has nothing new to say so let it stay behind as you move forward regardless of how you feel about it. You cannot trust your emotions concerning the past because your emotions will always choose what is comfortable over what is desired.

2) Choose yourself first always

Whenever you are faced with a decision that requires you to honor someone or something else besides yourself, choose yourself. The things outside of us are always temporary. How sad it is if you change your life to suit another and it doesn't work out. How terrible it is to uproot your life for a situation and it ends. When you choose yourself, you will always be happy and everything and everyone else can fall into alignment.

3) Embrace the New

After you made the decision to move in a new direction, commit to it fully, don't half step in. Be fully all IN and learn to receive the newness of your new choices. At first it will seem difficult or weird but give it time, and it becomes a part of you that you soon learn to see that you cannot live without.

This week and the following weeks as we lead up to 2023, I will be in busy feng shui mode. Out with the old and in with the new. Letting go isn't hard if you stay focused on the future you are creating. I am planning to go to the top in life as I always do and I hope to see you there!

Have a great week decluttering your mind, body and home. Let's get ready to roll into 2023 like the bosses we are.

Until next time, have a namaste!

xo Uma

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Nice Guys Finish Last: Ladies DO Better!

I am sitting here listening to Jay Zee and Alicia Keys, "Empire State of Mind" aimlessly wondering what to write about on this dreary, cold Tuesday and as the lyrics hit, my topic dawns on me.

I want to write about the good men out here, the men who get a bad rap because of how they look or where they are from or what they do for a living or in some rare instances....the men who get a bad rap for just being a man.

It hurts my heart because as a mom to two teenage boys, I need the narrative to shift dramatically when it comes to men. No they are not dogs or hobosexuals or cheaters or liars or scammers.....well not all of them. Most men are just human beings trying to survive and find love like us ladies are, so why then do we judge them so harshly?

Because most women are programmed to want and desire the best by their well meaning female family members. I said what I said.

Think about it. If your aunty is stuck in a loveless marriage, she will definitely try to warn her younger female family members to do better and choose better. I remember growing up in a household of women telling me to choose a man who loves me more than I love him. Why? Because women don't leave and men do.

So inaccurate especially in my own life where I've left about 30 or more relationships. Women do leave and we are doing so more and more because we are refusing to settle for less than what we deserve.

The funny thing is, there is no shortage of good men out here. I meet hundreds of men through my work and streaming career and they are all viable options for dating. However, most of them sit on the bench waiting to be picked. Why?

These are good men with good jobs, good health, good financial security and polite manners. Why aren't they chosen? In their own words, they have been denied boyfriend status because:

- They get put in the friend zone

- They are too nice

- Too short

- Too plump

- Too working class

- Too stable (yes someone told him that)

Ladies we need to do better. Not only are you denying really good men out here, you aren't even really thinking for yourself and only choosing what you feel other high level women would want. It's like high school all over again.

Case in point, I regularly talk to and date the underdogs....you know, the men who are good quality and stock but overlooked. Every single time I talk to or date an underdog, women start to flock to them like bees to honey. I recently had a guy tell me that before I came into his life, he was practically a nobody, just working hard and moving on his goals. Even though he is super attractive, he wasn't getting a lot of attention because he wasn't loud and flashy. He wasn't playing women or had swag. He was just a simple, nice guy that caught my eye. Soon after I started talking to him, more women started "finding" him attractive and his dms started blowing up. He was flabbergasted, I was not.

There is a competitive nature in women that cause us to want what other women have. It stems from that earlier childhood rearing I talked about with our older female family members.

"If someone like Uma wants him, he must be gold. Let me try to holla at him and see if he looks my way."

As a woman, I rarely date the type people expect me to date- you know, the tall, dark and handsome model with a six figure income. I don't date for status, I date for love.

Those outer things stopped impressing me in my twenties especially when the relationships proved boring or bland. I found much more enjoyable company with the weird, eclectic or strange. I found passion with the quiet ones and great sex! why? because they weren't out here collecting a body count....I found those with few partners made extremely great lovers because they paid attention to their women and were quite generally pleasers. Yum!

I like to keep my relationships private but my happiness couldn't be contained. People would see my GLOW and understand that I was being loved correctly and fully. They weren't wrong.

I like dating nice guys. Generous and kind guys. Guys with a heart and soul. Guys who are mama boys. Guys who prefer my company to that of 20 females. Nice guys don't finish last in my book and I wish more women would wake up and see the treasure right in front of them in that man they friendzoned too quickly or the man they are with but their friends judge too harshly. Nice guys don't have to finish last if we women chose them first.

To all my single ladies out there, I challenge you this week to talk to a man you would normally not give a chance to. Just hear him out and spend time in his energy. Learn the art of loving someone equally yoked to you and stop taking in these hobosexuals and bad boys. Learn to love the simple, the honest and the kind. I am telling you....this kind of love can change your life and it comes from the hands of a nice guy.

Until next time, have a namaste!

xo Uma

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Mindset Reset: I Chose Me

Ouuuuuu I am unstoppable these days.

I have had my fair share of hurt and pain over the years and I always wondered if I learned anything at all. Was it worth it? All those painful memories of my past? Did I grow? Did I rise like a phoenix from the ashes to be reborn even more glorious than I was before?

I sure did.

Thursday November 24th marks 3 months since I was in a relationship with someone who was very important to me. Someone who I allowed myself for two years to imagine spending the rest of my life with them. I was completely in love and as some of you saw me, floating through life. That man loved me hard, so hard that he healed all of my broken bits through the power of his love. I was restored by his grace.

Until it ended quickly, without warning and definitely without my desire. I was devastated....but yet I was ok. I cried some days but most days I was fine. I hurt like hell anytime he did something publicly but then I would get over it because my life brought its own triumphs.

In the first month of our breakup, I became a Top Badge on the live streaming app I am on and hit a 10 million diamond goal I expected to reach in December. I am now 82 fans away from a total of 10,000 fans on this app. And my success is growing now in the areas of Tik Tok and Youtube. Life continued on as did I.

Now I am on the verge of a new relationship with someone who potentially has the ability to love me harder than my ex....and it all is making me ask this question: How is this all possible?

How could I still have my dream of this fantasy relationship even though my real life one ended? How come i became so successful after a devastating loss? Why is life smiling on me?

Well after 3 months of healing and inner work, I gained the clarity to the questions I had. And here it is: Life is smiling at me because I smiled back.

See I did learn my lessons from past breakups, lessons I will share here with you in hopes that it helps you to keep your wits about you and as a gentle reminder that we truly are here to shine and be happy! All of life is a choice and if you struggle with that, let me know! I may have a coaching package where I can work one on one with you to teach you these lessons so you can thrive through troubled times too.

I am thriving quickly after a breakup because:

1) I choose Love not Hate

My ex did the worst to me after we broke up, things that were meant to humiliate me publicly and shame me. I did not respond.

When he was sharing his side of his story to the world, I stayed quiet and allowed him his time to heal and process what he went through. When people would ask me to respond to his allegations, I would politely decline. His truth is his truth and he is entitled to that. My truth is mine and doesn't need to be shared with the world. Why? Because I still have love for him and I wouldn't want to hurt him like that. So while everything was going on, I stayed quiet, kept working and avoiding questions from nosey people (ughhh yall make me sick! Mind ya business lol). My tactic worked out because I was able to see growth in my finances and career that actually brought me happiness over the tears.

2) I chose to move on

A lot of people experience shock after a breakup and in their confusion, they wait for the person to return to them. I have a time limit on that. I understand love and relationships can be tricky and sometimes we say things we don't mean, so as a goodwill gesture, I always give an ex a month to come back and work on things especially if the person was special to me. After a month, if there is no reconciliation, I chose to close the door permanently and move on with my life. No hard feelings and no replaying scenarios to see what I could have or should have done differently. There are two people in a relationship and it cannot be only me wanting to work on it. If my ex doesn't come back within a month then that's the green light for PUMA to come out (see next point).

3) My Real became RealER

Listen, when I do something I do it grand. It's not enough for me to be single and wait for one man to come along to snatch me up. Oh no, we on Uma's playground now and with my understanding of how desirable I am to certain people (I am not for everyone), it got spicy very quickly. I have been on a total of 6 dates within the last month and I have been thoroughly enjoying myself. Interestingly enough each of these men were a definite upgrade from my ex. They were outstanding and it made me understand something very clear- when we uplevel the Universe sends us experiences to match our level. Yes my ex was someone I loved dearly....while I was at the level I was at but his absence caused me to ask for more. For instance, my ex wasn't great with money and now I meet eligible bachelors with savings accounts, travel funds and retirement investments. My ex never really planned dates for me and now I am being lavished with gifts and dates, trips and experiences. Things I never could have imagined for myself when I was who I was with him.

4) I allowed myself to RECEIVE

Most times we are so blinded by our pain after a breakup that we can't see the blessings in front of us. Dry your eyes and look up! The Universe is ALWAYS sending you the next best thing but you gotta be in the mindset to receive it. If you keep looking back, you can't enjoy the goodness that is waiting to splurge on you! Allow yourself this one thing and it will help your healing process even faster.

In essence, I Chose Me over HIm.

I chose to take the L, heal myself in private so I could shine in public and guess what? It worked. As I head out to NY to spend an amazing Thanksgiving week with a new beau, I leave you with this thought- if you knew you were going to die today.....would you still be hooked on that person even though they don't want you or would you go out and live your life as best as you could before you left this earth? Good. Now start living because tomorrow is promised to no one and you can't afford to waste a second looking back.

We have less than two months left in this year- get your act together and start making the plans you need to make to have a better 2023. I will see you on the other side ;)

Until next time, have a namaste!

xo Uma

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Momentum slows when misalignment grows

Happy Halloween!

As auspicious as this day is for most because of the thinning of the veil, this year it holds an extra significant importance for me as well. Today marks one month I have been given the recognized credential Top Badge on the live streaming app I have been on for the past two years.

What is a Top Badge Streamer program? It highlights the best broadcasters on the app that comes with some pretty cool perks that enhance your social media visibility (you get $$$ and popularity lol).

The month has been interesting to say the least and it has given me enough material to write a blog about, so here we go.

Let's start positively by saying that I am happy to be considered one of the best broadcasters on the app. In fact, I didn't cry when I received my award funnily enough but I did after the fact. I remember visiting a new person's stream and once they saw my name in their room, they said, "Welcome Uma the People's Choice for Top Badge." Tears overwhelmed me. He went on to further explain that most people were happy with my selection of Top Badge and felt that I was a good representation of being a Top Badge. I was so deeply moved. Stories like this and more flooded me for a month as I was loved on, appreciated and supported on my promotion. It was beautiful and deeply moving. I met a lot of new people, made a lot of new supporters and networked like crazy as I was invited to more and more events. I was elated.

However, as in life, nothing is ever peaches and roses; you need the dirt and shit in life to keep things fertilized! I had my fair share of negativity from personal life drama to someone exposing my private texts on social media to my whole identity being stolen on IG so they could ask people for money by pretending to be me. It was all horrific and took me down....for awhile.

I was really feeling sorry for myself as certain aspects of my life were just plain failing. I felt hopeless, useless and like i was a failure until I realized something.....my momentum did not slow. In fact all of life was thriving around me outside of the areas I was focusing on.

My streaming career was taking off, my center was booming with clients and i even lost 12lbs! I was sleeping better and my meditations were going deeper. I was actually thriving.

Whatever was bothering me, was only doing so on a superficial level because deep down I maintained my elevated vibration of peace, love, joy, hope, happiness and positivity and it was showing in my life. I realized that Law of Attraction was always working and my life reflected back to me what my vibration was......pure and positive.

I felt better about things. Even though people hurt me, betrayed me, humiliated me and abandoned me....somehow I managed to be and stay positive about them and about me. I could have been upset, angry, annoyed or retaliation but I chose not to. I chose to still love those who hurt me and wish them well.

See momentum in your life slows when your misalignment grows. Whenever you allow a person or situation to take you out of your love essence, you will immediately see the results in your outer life. Your money, health, love life, dreams and desires will be affected. The key to life is learning how to accept failure and disappointment gracefully. The only thing failure brings me is humility. It doesn't affect my self worth or my self love.

As you journey through life, you will understand how important it is that you think the world of yourself especially when others think differently than you. Remember it is not their eyes that see your world, it is yours so be kind to yourself as you learn your lessons. You weren't meant to get it right on your first try, but you are meant to learn and be humbled by what you do.

As I stand here a month in as my new role of Top Badge, I am pleased with myself. I had many chances to fail, to accept defeat, to feel ashamed or judged but I refused to. I kept choosing me and in doing so, I kept the momentum going. Soon (actually right now) the momentum will turn in the area I was lacking in and new growth will start to show. This is the time to accept the changes and move brightly forward into your future. Life is ever changing and constant motion, keep up with it by staying in your alignment, listening only to yourself and going with the change

Until next time, have a namaste!

xo Uma

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Is Unconditional Love worth it?

Last week was CRAZY for me as a tarot reader. So many people went through breakups and so many people found me to ask the age old reader question, "Is he/she coming back?"

Not only are we in a Mercury Retrograde but several planets are also in retrograde right now. The energy is thick with confusion, delusions, fantasy and miscommunication with loved ones. My personal advice? stay home away from others and meditate a whole heck a lot!

I myself have been meditating heavily this week to ease the energies I have been feeling too and it gave me time to ponder on this question because truthfully I am conflicted about this topic as well.

Unconditional love defined is affection without limitations or love without conditions. That sounds hella hard! I mean what if the person is being ugly or vindictive or manipulative? How do you love someone like that?

When I did a personal meditation to seek clarity about this for my clients, I found a startling discovery about myself in the process. I first contemplated the concept of unconditional love and if we as humans are even capable of it. Can we? Should we? If someone is being bad, it's very hard to love them. If we think like this then we are practicing conditional love. The idea is, "You need to earn my love by behaving the way I want you to".

There is also another form of conditional love that doesn't relate to disrespect. When we expect some form of return, that is also another way we practice conditional love. I realized that I was loving conditionally in my relationships but I wasn't aware of it. I realized that if no effort was reciprocated to mine I automatically took that as a negative sign or worse, that my partner was no longer interested in me.

There would be days my partner would be preoccupied with his own life (as he should) and he wouldn't be as attentive to me as I would like him to be. Without fail, each of those instances caused anxiety in me and led to thoughts like, "Is he losing interest in me?" When I had thoughts like that, I would feel prompted to pull away my love for him and create tension between us. Wow.

I had to sit with that for a moment because it became clear how misled I was and just how much conflict I was creating because my partner was just living his life.

Loving unconditionally is not a hard thing to do if we expect nothing in return but so many of us have been taught to expect something in return.

As a woman who grew up in the Caribbean, I was taught that love equated to service. If a man loves you, he will provide for you and your children and protect you (expectations). Now a perfectly good man could come along and love me with all his heart but yet, my culture dictates he needs to come better by bringing a paycheck. This doesn't feel very unconditional to me.

After identifying all the ways myself and my clients love conditionally I had to ask the next, logical question- "loving unconditionally...is it worth it?

This answer came quicker than the last. Yes it is absolutely worth it.

Before being human, we are Spirit. Spirit sees no differences or segregation, we are all One. And in this Oneness lies love. There is no discussion of whether someone deserves my love or if it is an equal reciprocation. Love is in the purest form....just love.

I want to be able to experience this love in this lifetime so I have decided to start instituting some steps in my life that you are welcome to use if they fit!

1) Love people as they are not as I want them to be

Gone are the days of needing to change people to suit my needs. The truth is not accepting someone as they are, flaws and all is not a reflection of their character, it is a reflection of mine. By choosing to love someone as they are, I am also providing acceptance and that is such a soothing balm for them. Most of us grew up with judgment so imagine how nice it is to be loved and accepted as we are? It can be life changing.

2) Forgive easily and frequently

We are not perfect but yet we expect our loved ones to be. I am ditching my "three strikes you're out!" rule in favor of something more calmer and gentler. As long as I am flowing love to you, I will be more forgiving of the times you make mistakes. I will choose to see you as an imperfect being also learning and growing like me. I hope you can extend the same level of forgiveness to me but guess what? If you don't, that's ok I will still love you.

3) To show unconditional love for others, I first need to have it for myself

This is a big truth that I need to live up to. It is so easy to judge ourselves and feel disappointed if we don't get it right. I am letting that go. I am choosing to believe that everything is always working out for me even when it seems like bad times. It is still working out for me. So I will judge myself less and hold space more. I will love me as I am despite what other people think of me and trust that in time they will either change their minds or I will be surrounded by people who love and appreciate me as I am.

The funny thing is as much as I believe in and want to practice unconditional love, it is not for everyone! I brought this topic up recently on my social media livestream and I was surprised to hear people say they are comfortable living with conditional love. One woman said she knew in her heart she couldn't forgive certain behaviors and be unconditional so she was accepting of judgment from her partner and conditional love. I love her for that.

Deciding whether to practice unconditional love is not an easy task if you are steeped in this dimension of limiting beliefs and duality. It will take great strength to break out of our habits and patterns but if you do! please drop a comment and let me know how living and loving unconditionally worked out for you. :)

Until next time, have a namaste!

xo Uma

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It's not meant to break you....it's meant to MAKE you!

I keep seeing too many people who go through things and allowing that thing to bring them down. Stop it.

I am about to be that Aunt Bee who straightens you up so you can fly right. Now this post is not for the faint of heart so if you take things personally, like to make assumptions, want to avoid personal responsibility then this is not the post for you. Keep sliding down and find one better suited to your temperament. For the rest of you....here we go.

1) Stop blaming people

Let's say you got into a relationship with someone (it could be romantic or platonic) and after a period of fun and enjoyment it ends. Please for the love of God stop classifying them and diagnosing them especially when you don't have a license to do so. It's the funniest thing to me when I hear most people leave a relationship and refer to their exes as a narcissist. Stop it.

Just because you didn't get your needs met or that person didn't treat you the way you wanted to be treated, doesn't mean there is something psychologically wrong with them. It just means that you two aren't meant for each other and it's time for you to move on.

It's that simple but yet I find many people make excuses for their inability to leave. If I was to reword a scenario it would go from, "Oh I hate my ex, he is such a narcissist and i am glad that relationship is over." to "I wasn't getting my needs fulfilled but I was too scared to leave because I am insecure and anxious about being single. I am not sure I can get into another relationship OR I don't want to do the work and start all over again so I will just sit here and hope and pray for him to change."

The truth is this Universe (and you) operate by natural laws and there is a Law of Free Will which means that nothing can enter your life without your invitation. So whoever is in your life is by your intentional or unintentional focus. Stop blaming them for being there.

As a Law of Attraction coach I find that most people invite people and things into their life unintentionally, meaning they aren't focusing on the right things. Case in point, imagine a woman who only complains that men are dogs and list all the reasons something is wrong with them. Do you think she is going to attract a sweet, sensitive man capable of loving her or is she going to attract exactly what she has been talking about for awhile? Bingo.

The first step to emotional intelligence is understanding that bad relationships don't come in to break you...they come in to make you choose better so you can have the relationship of your dreams.

2) Own your Stuff

News flash-if you are 30s and younger, you are still growing and you are bound to make mistakes. If you mess up (and you know you will) be humble about it, learn and process it and then allow yourself the freedom to move on from it. Don't become the next category...ahem.

If you are 30s and older, learn to accept defeat and move on from it. Don't patronize others, don't put others down and definitely don't get a gang of your friends to cosign that you are right and they are wrong. As loving as they are being, they are not helpful.

We are not perfect creatures and we aren't expected to be so we really need to stop holding ourselves to this old paradigm that clearly isn't working anymore.

There will always be contrast and turmoil in life, the key to life is not to avoid it or live your life fearing it but to face things head on and change your attitude when things go south.

I am talking about myself of course. I use to be the woman who labeled every man as toxic if our relationship didn't work out but guess what? I grew up and took ownership of my behavior.

I stopped fearing change and started asking questions such as,

"What is this?"

"What is this bringing me?"

"How can I grow from this?"

"What new direction am I heading in because of this?"

When you start accepting the turmoil that comes with life, you show dominance in personality and power. Why? Because you refuse to be shaken. You understand that the Universe is a living, energetic entity only responding to our signals, nothing more and nothing less. So you learn to take things less personally and redirect a new course.

If a relationship ends? I accept it and see it only as a redirection not a rejection. If that man doesn't want to be with me, he is only making room for the one who can't live without me.

If I find out friends aren't really friends to me, I accept it. It only means that I outgrew that energy and am now open to inviting in a better fit for friendship.

If a job fires me, I accept it. I understand that there is something better coming my way and I need the time off to rest and prepare for this next adventure.

Once you start to see things as positive, you gain power over your outside circumstances. It all comes down to mindset. As a former athlete I can tell you that excellence in a sport is maybe 40% technical and physical skill and definitely 60% mindset.

You gotta think the right thoughts to make this life work. So....the next time you have a shake up in life, please remember...it came in to make you not break you. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keep it moving. SO far you have succeeded 100% of the times you were knocked down. Own your thoughts and see your life flourish in amazing ways.

Until next time, have a namaste!

xo Uma

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What IS the Message?

Today I found out a cherished mentor of mine Mavis Pittilla is no longer with us. She joins Janet Nohavec in Heaven, another mentor of mine who passed a few weeks ago.

I am feeling a little overwhelmed. These two women were great powerhouses in their work and I enjoyed my time studying under them. I pray for the healing and peace to be bestowed upon their loved ones that are left behind. I cannot imagine the loss experienced because they both had such a great impact on their communities that I know a hole will be left with their absence.

On a personal note, I am wondering what this means for me. I have been a medium since I was born and when that ability started becoming more pronounced in me, I decided to take formal training so I could provide the best possible experience for my clients.

It was an interesting experience becoming a mediumship student when I was already a medium. I learned from many teachers but I will only name the ones I had a positive experience with- namely Mavis Pittilla, Janet Nohavec, Eileen Davies and Colin Bates.

Some classes I took I was disgusted to see how the mediumship teachers abused their students. Some teachers talked down to grown adults like they were little children. I mean sheesh, you shouldn't even talk to children like that. Then there were others who failed to recognize a student's natural ability or competed with them for attention in class.

I quickly learned that spiritual teachers were after all, people and that if they didn't do their own self work they were just as liable as others to spew their inner turmoil to the outside world. It was interesting and scary to watch.

I loved working with Janet because she was strict and she was fair. I didn't experience preferential treatment and I had to earn my right to sit at her table. Yes I actually got to sit at her table when she invited me out to lunch one day (ohhhh I was so shocked and happy for the honor!). Janet took an interest in me and even offered to help me open my church when I was in her ministry program. She said she would help me with the bylaws and everything. I was deeply touched but yet saddened when I left her program when I realized internally becoming a Minister was not part of my path at this time. I did cut ties with her but maintained the respect and loyalty to her work. Later on when I began teaching mediumship, I referenced her frequently as the place to go after students learned with me so they could continue their development.

Mavis had a whole other special place in my heart. I worked with her for three years and just loved being in her energy. She was in tune with Spirit and it was a marvel to watch. I wanted to be like her as a professional medium- accurate, confident, loving and compassionate. Mavis saw something in me too. I remember one day after class, she pulled me aside and said, "Uma you got it. You got what it takes not only to become a medium but a mentor and I want to train you more. Will that be ok? I will be harder on you than others because I see something in you that makes you stand out." I was honored of course and Mavis was true to her word. She would call on me in class to demonstrate techniques and after a practice she would ask me to follow her outside while she smoked her cigarette and go over the class with me showing me how to be a proper mentor. It was bittersweet for me to leave Mavis but during my time with her, she had health issues that impacted her travel. After a few times of missed classes and reschedules I had to leave because I couldn't accomodate her changes as my schedule was so packed up. To this day I miss Mavis and being in her presence but I am glad for the recordings I have that I can play back and relive my memories.

After leaving these two wonderful mentors, it was hard for me to stay in the mediumship community because there was alot of nastiness I didn't approve of. Mediums were tearing down other mediums or judging their work. Mediums were scamming clients and the worst were teachers who had a lot of ego and took it out on helpless students. When George Floyd was murdered, I left the mediumship community because I noticed an absence of our mediumship organizations speaking out against racism. The Spiritualists community has been very vocal over the years for the Women's Suffrage Movement and LGBTQ rights....I couldn't understand at the time why they were not addressing racial concerns.

I also felt left out as a minority in the mediumship community. When I was assessed for my mediumship presentations it usually included comments to make me more "white". I would be told to not be so loud or fun, to be more subdued and dress more plainly. This was hard to hear as a Caribbean woman where my whole culture was about joy and vibrancy.

I left the mediumship community in 2019 and have not been practicing or actively teaching mediumship for about 3 years but with the recent deaths of my two beloved mentors, I am wondering if it is my duty to pick up the mantle and keep it going?

Interestingly enough there is also a new SNU President that I love and she is a modern woman keen on bringing order to the Spiritualist community again. Change is afoot and I am curious as to whether there is a place for me in this new world that seems to be developing.

I am wondering if Spirit is asking me to come back to the fold. I don't know yet but I honor the signals I am feeling and will make a decision soon about it. After all, life goes on and what we need are honorable and trustworthy practitioners and teachers in this craft. I know I am but the question is, do others recognize that in me as well?

So the question is something I am sure you can relate to. When you see all the signs and synchronicities lining up, you can't help but ask, "What IS the Message?'

For me, when I find myself in this position, I become silent and make no moves. I wait for the answer to come to me and when it does, it comes with crystal clear clarity of what I need to do. Until then, I patiently wait and carry on with my life while acknowledging I heard the call and I am open to receiving the message.

Janet and Mavis my only regret is that I didn't get to say a last farewell to you both and tell you how much I respected your work and your teachings. I hope you can hear me in Heaven and know that I loved you immensely. If you feel I represent your brand well, I hope you give me the signs to pursue this work for the greater good. If not, I am content enough that I learned from the best of the best and those memories can never be taken away. RIP ladies, you did amazing work with your time here on earth. I love you and miss your presence greatly.

Until next time, be good, do good and have a Namaste!

xo Uma

Change your thoughts and create your reality you want to live in. You deserve to be free, peaceful and happy. Of course if you need help, you can always book me for a Soul Coaching Program if you are ready to really step up and take ownership in your life!

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Summering....are you making the most of it?

Happy Summer!

We are officially halfway through Summer and I GOTS TO TELL YOU.....I am very pleased with myself.

Every summer I set goals, things I want to do and feelings I want to feel and without fail....most summers I set myself up for disappointment.

Sometimes I get disappointed because I depend on other people to help me fulfill my summer goals and sometimes it's because I set too many expectations that are not realistic.

I am happy for those failed summers though because each time I learned a little bit more about what I want and what I can get.

For instance, I use to hold the expectation that my partner would drop everything and just be up on me during the summer. Welp. Clearly that didn't work out in my last relationship but a funny thing about failed expectations...it can lead to brighter times ahead. Now in my current relationship, I hold no expectations of my partner's time and I enjoy the time together and I look at the time apart from him as time to do the other things I had planned! Win Win.

I use to also look to my friends to be available all the time to do things with me. I mean come on, its summer! Time to be outdoors! Well I have learned to do things on my own and it feels good. This summer I have been enjoying my Super Soul Sundays which is basically spent with half the day doing self care things like having massages or going to bookstores and the other half of the day with my partner on the couch watching our favorite shows. I am definitely enjoying this so much I might take it into the Fall with me too!

I also usually set a goal of getting things done around the house in the summer and hold a desire of wanting to do nothing. How in the world I expected that to work out in the past beats me! I would set these really high expectations and then feel awful at the end of summer when things weren't accomplished.

Because of those experiences, I entered this summer with no goals besides going to the pool/beach (check), hanging out late nights (check), traveling (check) and reading more (check). Ding ding ding! I completed my summer goals and it's not even over yet! :)

The funny thing about letting up about expectations and just being in the flow is that it allows space for other things to happen that you want to happen.

Even though I didn't set any expectations for household chores, I got some done! Things that have been on my to do list for awhile just got completed and with total ease and joy.

What I learned so far this summer is that being easy and happy, letting go of my expectations and learning to just BE is the key to enjoying the moment.

This week I ask you to do the same. We are halfway through summer and I ask you to focus on just enjoying the weather and doing activities that you can't do in other seasons. Let that be your focal point so when summer is over and the chill starts to come into the air, you can feel good about spending time as you wanted to and enjoying all that summer has to offer.

In life we don't have to push as much as we think we do. We are enough and we can just focus on being in the moment and trusting that everything will workout for us. In the end, it usually does.

Until next time, be good, do good and have a Namaste!

xo Uma

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The tower fell....and im still here

So here we are.....unable to escape fate and reeling from a week of revelations and intense clarity about a lot of things in life. The tower well and I am still here.

For those of you who don't get the reference, let me give a little back story. In tarot we have a tower card (see photo) and it gives an eerie meaning as eerie as the photo looks. It suggests a sudden and tragic ending in your life that will be catastrophic to you. It could be a literal ending like the death of a loved one, an end of a relationship or job or unexpected relocation/expenses. Yikes!

Well this was my card for my May Reading followed with the 3 of Cups (family, relationships, celebration, reunions) and Ace of Wands (new energy, new opportunities). So when I started May I had a small sense of dread mixed with relief that whatever happened, it will be quick and painful but I will have new doors open and a community of loving people supporting me.

I had no idea what was to come.

Of course when you get a reading like this, your logical mind starts to think logically about what could logically happen. So logically I assumed my partner and I were breaking up this month LOL. Yes very logical thought as I have a history of being super emotional during mercury retrogrades (thanks to my Gemini moon) and I was pretty sure I was gonna show him what that mouf do when I am triggered.

It wasn't him. It was a friend I have been rocking with for close to a year. She betrayed me and the tower fell. God it hurt on so many levels.

The first hurt came from the actual events that unfolded. In a summary, she changed her energy towards me but maintained her friendship with my partner. Now she met him through me last April to be exact when I invited her to hang out with us when we were in NY. She seemed cool and easy to get along with so I invited her and she made a few more trips to see us. I didn't think anything about it until a month ago when my partner had to go back to his home state for family stuff. In those 3 weeks he was away, I hardly heard from her and if I did, it was only in response to something I did. Him? He heard from her practically every day. Well this week the confrontation came about by surprise, surprise, her accusing me of changing the energy towards her! At first I didn't take it personally because with Mercury Retrograde, I was sure she was reacting emotionally. I carefully explained to her my facts- the text messages, the calls etc....staying away from opinions and only stating what I noticed. The response was simple and in text- "I really was only interested in a friendship with you to get to your partner because I felt we had more of a bond." Ouch.

The second hurt came from my ability and inability. A few months ago I had this vision that this was coming. It was such a strong feeling that I told my partner, "I have a feeling she isn't going to be in our lives anymore and I am sad about it." Of course he didn't believe me....it's not usual for a guy to date a psychic haha. I am use to my partners not believing me when I see things so far out. And a bit of hurt came from the inability of me unable to stop it. These things hurt but it does get easier.

Now that a few days passed, I have so much clarity about this tower moment in my life and this is what I want to speak on.

Life is always going to have tower moments, you cannot avoid it but you can choose how you react to it.

As shocking as the news were this week, I allowed myself to receive it because the lesson I have learned in life is this- life is always working out for me. I may not see right now why this ending had to happen but I trust it happened for the best for me and mine.

Why am I so sure?

Because I have been focused and committed to my vision. I haven't been distracted or out of alignment. I have been killing it in all areas of my life so whatever is happening now in any part of my life, it is happening for the best. That is how much I know and trust the Law of Attraction.

So how did this end?

Peacefully. My partner and I took some time off from streams for two days and reconnected. We used this opportunity to talk about what our expectations were about outside influences and friendships. This situation actually afforded us some much needed communication about what we want and did not want to invite into our lives. We became stronger.

That person? She tried several times to create more chaos but we stayed united. He showed me the messages she was sending him putting me down and I showed him the same. We stayed united and eventually she walked away.

Will she be back? Probably to his life but that would be for him to deal with. I have learned in life the best thing to do is to trust your partner and give them space to show you they are capable of handling things without your interference. Besides it wasn't my intention to break their friendship up....far from it! My intention was to uncover the lies that were pretty much forced in my face. She acted like she wanted to be a friend to me but that wasn't true. It is enough to uncover that and move on with my life. I trust him to handle it if she returns.

In the end I am grateful. I saw a storm coming and I didn't shrink from it or fear it and that empowered me. Why? I didn't know how, who or what was going to go down so how could I act in such a calm fashion? Because I learned to trust and rely on myself. When you learn that lesson you become invincible.

This week I challenge you to be brave about whatever adversity you are going through. Live with the motto, "Everything is always working out for me" amd become empowered in your life. You will always be ok when you trust in yourself.

Until next time, have a namaste!

xo Uma

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Accountability is a sign of growth

I recently joined a 6 Week Boot Camp to give it one last push before summer gets here. It was absolutely an intuitive move. I have been feeling a little down about my happy weight (happy events in my life led to my overindulgence) and as a Law of Attraction coach I know that for me to make a change, I first have to think it into existence. So that is what I did. I imagined myself on the beach in a cute new bikini and feeling easy in my body as I wore summer clothes.

Just by doing that for a few days, I "coincidentally" found a local boot camp last Thursday that started on Tuesday! What luck! (wink) I enrolled immediately without thinking it through because I knew if I intuitively was led there, it was part of my bigger mission to slim down before beach season.

That was the easy part. Now comes the hard lesson of accountability. When you are accountable, it means you are willing to accept responsibility. I found out quite quickly in my first session that I had a lot of excuses that my trainer was able to spot easily. When he pointed them out to me, I yielded and did not argue for my limitations. He was right and I was wrong and I was willing to accept responsibility for that.

The lesson of accountability showed up for me in other areas of my life last week too. I started to feel "bad vibes" from a fellow streamer friend and I actually felt that the person had ill intentions towards me. It's funny how people outside of us can make us believe the worst things.

I allowed that energy to take up space for maybe two days as I battled it but in the end, my higher Self won. I consistently meditated every day and in that sanctuary, I found my peace with the situation.

After all, I am the creator of every situation in my life according to the Law of Attraction right? So either I was imagining it or it is an ending meant to be.

Here's how I deal with either situation:

- If I was imagining it, that means I was paying attention more to their actions than ignoring their actions and continuously loving them as is. It also suggests I was out of alignment with my inner being because when you are high vibing, you really don't pay attention to what is going on around you in the current reality. In this situation, if it truly was my imagination (and time will tell) then it is an easy fix. I can continue to treat this person with love and respect and act like nothing happened.....because nothing did. I can work on getting myself back into alignment and start high vibing again.

- If it is an ending meant to be and I wasn't imagining it then I can also stress less and worry less about it. My inner being always know what is best for me so despite my feelings about this person, my inner being has determined that on the road of life, wherever I am headed to, this person cannot come with me. It's not a dis or insult to them and it definitely does not suggest they are beneath me. It just means that our time together served its purpose and now its time to move on to the things that truly inspire us....which may mean we are heading into different directions. So I allow myself to move and I wish that person well as they move into their new direction too.

The most important thing I want to stress here is that it didn't matter the situation, whether it was my gym routine or the issue involving a friend, my answer was always the same- be accountable for MY actions, thoughts and words. I do not need to look to another and see what they are doing and I do not need to create drama because I am uncomfortable. I can sit in the silence and patiently await outcomes while being accountable for my own thoughts and actions. This is the next level in our evolution.

This week I challenge you to look at difficult situations you are experiencing in your life and find out how you can be held accountable for them. In doing so, I ask that you do not look to others and place blame at their feet for how you feel. You can only affect you so ease up on others. Reach your next level with this!

Until next time, have a namaste!

xo Uma

PS- this month you DEFINITELY want to book me for something as I slashed ALL my prices for services in honor of Mother's day in May! I am the happiest mom ever and I want to share my abundance with you! Even my coaching packages are discounted so if you have been thinking about it, now is the time!

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Full Moon Scorpio is here-what can i do?

Unless you have been living in a cave, this past week has been tumultuous as we had several major influences coincide this week/weekend.

Mercury Retrograde started on May 10th and that's always a fun time to be around people (I am kidding if you couldn't tell) as we tend to operate more from our emotional sides than our logical ones. This means arguments, petty quarrels, irritation and a whole lotta of "taking it personally". If you don't know much about Mercury Retrograde, check out my latest video on Youtube to get a basic starting lesson to learn about it.

Sunday midnight on the East Coast ushers in the Full Moon Scorpio and it is also a total Lunar Eclipse. This combination is asking us to honor what we truly feel and express that to others. That may sound lovely and all but I am betting it is going to go south very fast. Instead of deep, intimate conversations with our significant others and people we love, I am pretty sure it's going to be a time of impulsive decisions, explosive diarrhea of the mouth and more relationship wrecking actions than peaceful ones. We are a funny bunch, us humans.

My advice? Be the observer this week, reflect and meditate more, speak less! If you feel triggered, automatically assume responsibility and work it out within yourself (or call me for a quick 15min or 30min Access Energetic clearing!). Do NOT and I repeat do NOT take your opinions and feelings to others if they are mean, degrading, angry, hurtful or otherwise.

Full Moon Scorpio is a time of to work on yourself and clear up past patterns that are preventing you from living a life of peace, happiness and joy. If you have a chance to join a group meditation, do so because now is the perfect time to cut your negative attachments to your past and destructive behavior. Want something to do Monday Night? Check out my online Violet Flame of Transmutation event I am having at 7pm EST on 5/16/22. The Violet Flame meditation is an incantation we repeat 33 times to clear our karma, elevate to 5D from 3D and cut attachments to people and situations that continue to hold us. Check it out!

Here are some other things I will personally be doing in addition to the Violet Flame meditation during this auspicious time. Feel free to join me and do them too!

1) Charge my Crystals

All crystals are on the window ledges so the full moon can shine its blessed light upon them and clear them of any stagnant energy they are holding from past use. This is a better way to cleanse crystals as some crystals can dissolve in water baths. Also wave your sage stick around your crystals for added benefits.

2) Do a House Clearing

I have a little cauldron (so cute) and I put some special herbs mixed for various reasons (love, health, wealth, clearings) into it and burn it around the height of the full moon. Even though it will be at 12am (I wouldn't be up), I will probably do this ritual around 9pm and then go to bed for sweet sleep. I let the herbs burn safely in the cauldron and the beautiful smell fills my home.

3) Write my Pain

Full moons are great for letting go and moving on. I write on a piece of paper all the things I am ready to let go of and then burn them. I can release people from karmic bonds this way, let go of mental and emotional attachments to people and things and also let go of old mindsets that are limiting me. For those of you in situationships, why not take this time to write a letter to the other person and burn it? It symbolizes your readiness to cut ties and walk away from this kind of relationship in hopes for a new one.

4) Crystal Reiki Healing on Myself

I energize my being with reiki while listening to sound bowls and place crystals on my chakras. I can't begin to tell you how amazingly healing this is and most times I fall asleep during the session! If you would like to book me for this healing session this week, let me know! I have crystals at my office space that I use specifically for this service and I also incorporate tuning fork therapy with it! Come check it out!

This week I challenge you to be mindful of your words and actions towards others and to go inward. Now is not the time to pick that fight with your loved ones. Now is the time to be quiet and listen to the truth of your Soul.

Until next time, have a namaste!

xo Uma

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Attention is the new currency

Happy Mother's Day to every mom out there! I hope you had a day to spend as you please and you got some rest, love and appreciation for all the hard work you do. I am writing this blog after spending a wonderful day with my children who spoiled me today and rightfully so! I deserve this goodness.

I really wanted to come on here and write a post about motherhood or nurturing but I just can't get it out of my mind something my partner told me. It's like I am fixated on it so I guess this is the topic we will explore this week. Let's get to it.

Side note, ladies get you a man who loves to have conversations with you. Not just conversations about sexy time or romantic in nature (oooh those are good too!) but about life and thoughts.

One day last week we were having our usual morning conversation, talking about the sad progression of events with the Will Smith and Chris Rock incident and he said to me something I will never forget. He said, "Uma doesn't it bother you how much they keep distracting us? I mean every time some insignificant news pop up, I have to wonder what they aren't telling us. Attention is the new currency."

Of course I am paraphrasing because 1) I don't listen too well and 2) my memory sucks. Despite those setbacks I heard the most important part (to me) of that conversation: "Attention is the New Currency."

He couldn't be more right.

One of the reasons I stopped looking at the news is that it became very distracting. I noticed the news anchors were really good at getting us to get worked up about something- be it an impending snow storm, possible World War III or another pandemic but when said things came and passed without incident, they rarely addressed it again. Do you notice that? No one apologizes after the fact and I mean it's the least they can do.

"Sorry we got you all worked up about a possible snow storm when it was only a passing rain shower. My bad." that would go a long way! But they don't offer it so I don't watch the news anymore.

I like living trauma free and I feel that way about a lot of things not just the news.

Your attention to matters is what gives things life. When you learn this, you will stop giving your attention to unwanted things and only focus on things that you do want.

My partner recognizes this and takes it a step further by saying that everything and everyone in this world is vying for YOUR attention! How are you spending it?

It makes you stop and think doesn't it? Questions I have begun asking myself since that conversation go along the lines of:

1) Who is buying me through my attention?

2) What am I distracting myself from by focusing my attention on these things?

3) Am I in charge of my attention or has it been bought already?

I am a little bit of a geek and like to play word games and sudoku. I realized shockingly that these phone games were definitely costing me a lot because at any point in the day you can find me on my phone playing games. Yes I can explain it away by saying things like:

- This is relieving stress

- This is building my mental capacity

- This is healing

But the reality is? They take up a lot of my time that I could be using for self reflection, spending time with my loved ones or even upleveling my businesses. My clarity is these games are healthy in moderation and I made a plan of when to play them so they don't consume me.

Your attention is the new currency so are you liking what you are buying with it?

That's All. Answer that question and be open to the answers that may come flying in.

This week I challenge you to pay attention to what YOU are paying attention to. What consumes the majority of your thoughts? Is it healing you or sickening you?

Until next time, have a namaste!

xo Uma

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